While conducting classified research for our latest study on what really turns women on, we encountered a feisty male test subject with one provocative and persistent question: what about porn for men? Porn for Women model Adrian Madlener, 32, emphasized that after posing for photo after photo in our publications, he simply could not let his question rest—what about all of the guy fantasies that have yet to come to fruition? We put down our heart monitoring devices and clipboards for an hour to sit down with him and get to the bottom of his concerns.

CWPC Chief Researcher: So, tell us, Adrian, what exactly is troubling you?

Mr. Madlener: With all due respect, Doctor, it seems like you’re forgetting what really turns us on.

CWPC Chief Researcher: But Adrian, don’t you think that men can already find whatever they need through a quick jaunt to the magazine rack or the local adult video store?

Mr. Madlener: Well, Doctor, what I mean is…

CWPC Chief Researcher: Haven’t you seen Playboy: The Complete Centerfolds, released by our very own publisher?

Mr. Madlener: Dude! I’m talking about the stuff we need to get through our days, our secret desires—our version of shirtless guys lugging vacuum cleaners and chocolate ‘n’ flowers around. The ultimate male fantasies, man.

CWPC Chief Researcher: I’m intrigued, Adrian. Go on.

Mr. Madlener: I mean, a woman who wants to play pickup basketball is irresistible. You know, the girl who grew up fishing, or the one who fixes the toilet plumbing herself instead of asking me to do it because I’m the guy. The one who knows how to set up her own wireless network. The wife who gets out the power tools and assembles the frickin’ playhouse ’cause she’s handy like that, who’d just as soon clean up in a game of poker as clean the house.

CWPC Chief Researcher: I’m just not quite sure where you’re going with this…

Mr. Madlener: Can’t you see it? A babe in a tight-fitting top sits at the computer and smiles at the camera, saying, “Hi Hon, I just filed our taxes, so don’t you worry about learning how to use the software.” A chick in a corvette with black leather seats winks, “Tune my dial to Car Talk!” A sophisticated executive in business suit and heels gets home from work and says, “Hey you, let’s skip the chat about our days and fire up the Xbox.” Man, that would be bringin’ home the bacon. Followed by a shot of a girl grilling up red meat and…

CWPC Chief Researcher: I see, I see—it’s all becoming quite clear, Adrian. How curiously revolutionary! Come to think of it, you’d look pretty hot in a white lab coat…why don’t you join our research team?