Okay, sistahs, so we all know that chicas are the ones buying these books. But when it comes to studying the pages, guys have been caught stealing glances, too.

Come clean, men! There’s wisdom to be found between these covers that may get you on the way to improving your relationships with women—or even scoring a first date to begin with.

Lesson #1: No, this is a good time to talk.
The most important thing I can tell a man is that he really needs to listen to a woman. Be curious: get to know her. It goes a long way—women crave connection, and we want to feel that you know us. Listen and be interested, and she will tell you everything you need to know.

Lesson #2: I saw you admiring this the other day, so I went back and got it for you.
Pay attention. If there’s something or some place she likes, get it for her or take her there. It makes her feel special. Sometimes you might not get it 100% right, but if you’re in the ballpark, she’ll give you credit and appreciate it. I know we women can be confusing, but if you make us happy, we’ll make you happy in return. Then, everyone is happy! Trust me, if you’re sweet and amazing to us, you’ll get it back threefold.

Lesson #3: I think you look better now than you did 20 years ago.
Say it like it is. Be genuine, and don’t give into all the games that we force ourselves to play. If you enjoyed your date, don’t wait three days to call her. Buzz her the next day, and tell her you had a good time. Open up and share a little bit of yourself. Don’t be creepy or clingy; just be genuine. She’ll appreciate it.

Lesson #4: Wanna snuggle?
Oh, and hold her after sex. It won’t kill you to give her five minutes of cuddling afterwards. You were really interested ten minutes earlier—why not extend it after the fact and join her in her basking? We like to luxuriate in the afterglow, and you can make it better by jumping in. Cuddle her for five minutes; then you can use the bathroom and get back to your side of the bed knowing you did a very nice thing for her. Sweet ‘n’ spicy dreams!