November 10th, 2009 | by PFW Cooperative | Add new tag
Well, it may not be grammatically correct for “we” to say “I told you so” but you catch our drift when we say that this article from the Wall Street Journal confirms what we have been saying the whole time: Women love it when men pitch in around the house. We didn’t spend countless hours in the CWPC labs performing test after test for nothing. Well, it may have been overboard to compare the effects of cleaning the main bathroom versus the guest bathroom, but we had to be sure!
The article brings up some interesting points. Perhaps not every woman gets excited by watching her man do laundry (different strokes for different folks: I prefer yard work), but most of the respondents agreed that by sharing the responsibility of maintaining a home, and by extension the relationship, couples feel closer together. I think that the St. Paul, Minnesota accountant said it best:
“To me it’s not the dishes, laundry, vacuuming (or Viagra) that matters,” he writes. Sharing chores reflects a “willingness to hold my wife’s needs and wants on a par with my own. For us, the key to intimacy is the sharing and minimization of selfishness.”
I bet that house sizzles on a Saturday night.
September 2nd, 2009 | by PFW Cooperative |
And now, a small parable, inspired by this porn star and his palm frond…
Not long ago, my feng shui consultant directed me to acquire some luck bamboo, plant it in a nice red vase, and place it in the love sector of my home to enhance the romance in my life. And so I dutifully did just that—and all-too-soon got buried in work and travel and, you know, eyelashes and everyday life.
Just yesterday, I glanced over at that bamboo, and it looked the picture of neglect: the brown stalks were drying, parched, and shabby. But then I realized that—miraculously—the leaves at the very top were still green. Mr. Love-Luck Bamboo seemed to be sacrificing his stalks for his leaves. Yep, I’d abandoned it, but the plant was doing everything it could to stay alive. It made me appreciate that no matter how hectic life gets, the dream of love is always alive, even if just barely, and it will do whatever it takes to keep on growing.
I can’t ignore either my love life or my bamboo. So, I’m working to nurture both of them. That’s how I roll.
Join me?
August 25th, 2009 | by PFW Cooperative |
Okay, sistahs, so we all know that chicas are the ones buying these books. But when it comes to studying the pages, guys have been caught stealing glances, too.
Come clean, men! There’s wisdom to be found between these covers that may get you on the way to improving your relationships with women—or even scoring a first date to begin with.
Lesson #1: No, this is a good time to talk.
The most important thing I can tell a man is that he really needs to listen to a woman. Be curious: get to know her. It goes a long way—women crave connection, and we want to feel that you know us. Listen and be interested, and she will tell you everything you need to know.
Lesson #2: I saw you admiring this the other day, so I went back and got it for you.
Pay attention. If there’s something or some place she likes, get it for her or take her there. It makes her feel special. Sometimes you might not get it 100% right, but if you’re in the ballpark, she’ll give you credit and appreciate it. I know we women can be confusing, but if you make us happy, we’ll make you happy in return. Then, everyone is happy! Trust me, if you’re sweet and amazing to us, you’ll get it back threefold.
Lesson #3: I think you look better now than you did 20 years ago.
Say it like it is. Be genuine, and don’t give into all the games that we force ourselves to play. If you enjoyed your date, don’t wait three days to call her. Buzz her the next day, and tell her you had a good time. Open up and share a little bit of yourself. Don’t be creepy or clingy; just be genuine. She’ll appreciate it.
Lesson #4: Wanna snuggle?
Oh, and hold her after sex. It won’t kill you to give her five minutes of cuddling afterwards. You were really interested ten minutes earlier—why not extend it after the fact and join her in her basking? We like to luxuriate in the afterglow, and you can make it better by jumping in. Cuddle her for five minutes; then you can use the bathroom and get back to your side of the bed knowing you did a very nice thing for her. Sweet ‘n’ spicy dreams!
July 30th, 2009 | by PFW Cooperative |
Here at the CWPC, we’re always on the hunt for notable, fetching fellows who should star in future publications, and I’ve been doing a bit of research into some sexy celeb candidates. So here are my top picks of the moment:
(Whaddya think? Sizzlin’ and smokin’ or no?)
Brad Pitt: Years after we first saw him as the delectable hustler in Thelma and Louise, we find out that Brad Pitt is so much more than good looks. I love what he’s doing in the world, donating money and time to charities and improving the community around us. And his commitment to his family? That makes him only yummier!
Benjamin Bratt: He seems to have a quiet intensity to him—he’s no brash, bold loudmouth. I like how he can combine a bad boy look with the vibe that he’d listen to everything you’d say. He seems to be confident and sure of who he is, and manages to stay out of the big Hollywood game. I like that. Women often gravitate to the booming, intense alpha males, but I swoon for Benjamin’s calm self-assurance. I don’t need some guy beating his chest all the time, you know?
Denzel Washington: Denzel is civic-minded, passionate about the community, and has a strong sense of self. He loves his family and knows how to keep above the Hollywood fray. He’s in the movie world, for sure, but he’s outside of the machine. Basically, he picks good roles and makes good choices. His body of work is his legacy, and people look up to him. Not to forget that he’s gorgeous!
Shhh! Now, I don’t know if I should admit this, but I have a secret crush on Barack Obama. I don’t mean any disrespect to his role as husband and President, but he has so much of what women want. Once again, that quiet confidence is a big draw for us women. He tries to do the right thing, and he’s thinking about how his actions affect the women (and men) of the whole world. And I think his choice of Michelle as his wife speaks volumes about him as a person: she’s fabulous, smart, and gorgeous. When it comes down to it, he’s secure enough with himself to have an amazing woman by his side.
More later, y’all!
July 14th, 2009 | by PFW Cooperative |
You know, working with the CWPC to put these books together has inspired me to realize just how much my idea of the fantasy man has evolved over the years. I mean, on the surface, these are just a bunch of sweet-talkin’ studs with cleaning supplies, but actually, there’s a wiser message buried beneath the smart duds and tight pants that really resonates with me—about what we gals with experience deserve.
When I was 25, I craved someone who was good in bed; now I need a good lover—those are such completely different things. And looks used to be key for me, but now they’re only somewhat significant. Basically, what once was an outer thing is now an inner thing. When it comes right down to it, I want someone who will appeal to my soul, not just my eyes. He should fit with my lifestyle and my goals and support what I do in my career and personal life. I need a partner rather than a player!
In fact, I remember I didn’t give a damn about where his money came from as long as he had a job. But these days I want someone who’s passionate about what he does for a living. Of course, intelligence and humor were always important to me, but now I desire a higher quality of man.
Many young women pine for a guy who’s a “Man”—so they’re often lured in by the guy who talks loudly and draws attention to himself. Now that I’ve been around the block a bit, I fall for the quiet confidence of a man who’s comfortable with himself and has nothing to prove to anyone else. He knows who he is, and he’s satisfied with it.
Yes, I’ve always had a thing for intense men with passionate personalities. But, now I won’t settle for less than a passionate guy who isn’t afraid to show me his authentic (and therefore hottie) self.
Tell me, who’s your fantasy man of the moment?
June 18th, 2009 | by PFW Cooperative | More Magazine
Hi, sistahs! (and fellas—I know you’re out there, too!)
I was just flipping (and swooning) through the steamy Porn for Women of a Certain Age slideshow on More.com, and I was reminded just how much I love that mag. It’s so marvelous and smart—the way it spotlights chicas who are doing incredible things, regardless of their age.
You know, actually, I feel lucky that throughout my life, I’ve always been surrounded by strong, glamorous older women. I had lots of wonderful aunties who set a damn fine example for me that getting older wasn’t anything to fear.
And now—because I was raised with that perspective—I run into fabulous mature women all over the place in the media, the arts, and everyday life—not just in the Cambridge Women’s Pornography Cooperative. I’m talking about ladies like Judy Dench, Helen Mirren, Oprah, Ruby Dee, Maya Angelou. They’re all examples of women who transcend age. I have to say I’ve also always loved journalist Linda Ellerbee. Growing up, I remember thinking, “I get her. I may not understand everything she’s talking about, but I get her and her personality.” She’s just so strong, smart, and tenacious. A great role model for girlfriends of all ages.
As the wise man says, “I just love the sparkle the silver puts in your hair!”
Know any sexy, strong women of a certain age? Holla back here and tell me all about ‘em!
June 15th, 2009 | by PFW Cooperative | More Magazine
A toast to the foxy ‘n’ over-40 ladies of More Magazine, who remind us that “a man doesn’t have to be naked to raise our pulse.” Indulge in their Porn for Women of a Certain Age slideshow here. Swoon!
May 6th, 2009 | by PFW Cooperative |
With the publication of our new book, Porn for Women of a Certain Age, the members of the CWPC drew straws to see which one of us would take the duty of the “Spokespornographer.” Some of the more industrious and camera-shy of us figured out which straws were which, and the short straw went to CWPC member Kim Coles, whom you may know from hit shows such as Living Single, In Living Color, and recently on TBS’ Ten Items or Less.
Now, there’s no reason to feel sorry for Kim: she lives in front of the camera and is comfortable chatting about gal stuff, so we actually think she picked the short straw on purpose.
Either way, we couldn’t be more pleased.
Kim is a smart, sexy woman in her forties who, in addition to being a successful actress and comedienne, wrote a book about being single in the dating world. And, she is a big supporter of our newest book, Porn for Women of a Certain Age, which is in bookstores now. This week you can catch Kim offering her sage advice to women (and those who love them) on various radio stations ahead of Mother’s Day.
Now, some of you may be wondering why Kim Coles would be interested in doing porn. The answer couldn’t be simpler:
“When my friends heard I was involved in porn, they were surprised. But when they saw the Porn for Women series, it clicked immediately. As an independent woman who is accustomed to doing my own thing, I am thrilled to find something that recognizes my desire to have a partner who is loving, conscientious and sexy. What woman wouldn’t love that?”
Over the next few weeks, Kim will be blogging on WannaSnuggle.com. If you have any questions or topic suggestions, email her using our contact form.
And don’t forget to send Porn for Women e-postcards to your friends!
April 13th, 2009 | by PFW Cooperative |
This just in: while Parenting.com is swooning over our men who get “down and dirty with cleaning supplies,” they are shocked to report that a dirt-free domestic situation in Germany recently resulted in divorce. After her too-tidy husband insisted on knocking down a filthy wall, one woman decided it was time to make a break.
We are left to concede the existence of the extreme male specimen known as the Unsexy Neat Freak. However, don’t let that thought persuade you to abandon your dusters, men! The condition is not contagious, and side effects of tidiness in moderation include romantic trips to Home Depot, baseball games watched while receiving back massages, and steamy, dust-free nights. Don’t let the bed bugs bite…
April 13th, 2009 | by PFW Cooperative |
Just in time for the debut of our latest and spiciest installment of new and improved porn—Porn for Women of a Certain Age—the internet is all abuzz about the sexiness that comes with maturity:
“Let me look at eye candy on a DVD or at the beach,” writes sexuality educator Katherine Anne Forsythe, MSW, on the National Sexuality Resource Center’s website. “I can fantasize about him when alone. For my real bedroom, give me a seasoned man. I’ll take the older guy who takes his time. The one who plays and teases, and offers suggestions of new titillating erotic ideas…Give me someone who knows what I like and cares enough to make sure I get it. I’ll place my bets on the older guy.”
Thanks to prescription drug “enhancers,” increased empathy for what women want, and bedroom encounters that move beyond straight-laced been-there-done-that lovemaking, mature men are looking more desirable than ever.
And the same goes for the other side of the equation: Mike Strobel of The Toronto Sun received a letter questioning why the newspaper’s daily “SUNshine girls,” beach babes pictured provocatively in swimsuits, are never over 40. In response, he solicited photos of “fine-wine women,” and entries from fit ‘n’ foxy older ladies came rushing in faster than you could say hotttt flash. “I’m swamped with cougars, red-hot mommas, fit-but-50s, and other varieties of The New Woman, ages 40 to 101,” he reports.
Just the idea was enough to get male readers drooling: “ ‘I can’t wait,’ said Craig Wilson, for most of the men who e-mailed. ‘There are a lot of amazing women of all ages out there.’ ”
Gushing about his girlfriend, another gent added, “ ‘She’s still got it, mate, big time!…An ultra-hottie at age 52….But she doesn’t have that haughty hottie attitude.’ ”
A third wise fellow summed it up like this: “ ‘An older woman has class and experience — and it shows.’ ”
Cheers to experience, then, and lovers of that certain age.
