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PASS THE PORN
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How much are you getting? Take this quiz to find out if your guy has porn star potential.

  • 1. When you need him to listen, does he:
  • Listen attentively, making continual eye contact?
  • Listen for about two minutes, then start offering solutions?
  • Watch the game over your shoulder while you're talking?
  • 2. When you're cold, does he:
  • Turn up the heat, even if it makes him uncomfortable?
  • Offer to get you a sweater or blanket?
  • Wonder aloud how you can be cold with all that body fat?
  • 3. When you come home looking stressed, does he:
  • Start a bath, light candles, make dinner, and massage your feet?
  • Make you a nice cup of hot tea and tell you to sit down and relax?
  • Tell you to "suck it up," then ask what's for dinner?
  • 4. When does he bring you flowers?
  • Often, and for no reason at all.
  • For your birthday, anniversary, and special occasions.
  • Only after you catch him sleeping with your sister.
  • 5. After you get a haircut, how long does it take him to notice?
  • Immediately upon seeing you.
  • Within a few minutes.
  • Only after asking, "Is your forehead getting bigger?"
  • 6. When you mention that the bathroom needs cleaning, does he:
  • Tell you to relax as he pulls out the cleaning supplies?
  • Ask if it's his turn?
  • Toss you the rubber gloves and say, "Knock yourself out, babe"?
  • 7. How does he behave around your cat?
  • Loves to sit with her on the sofa, scratching her ears and chin.
  • Pets the cat—but only when you're looking.
  • Views cat solely as a seat warmer.
  • 8. When he cooks dinner for you, what does he make?
  • Niman Ranch lamb tenderloin with garlic. Triple chocolate decadence cake for dessert.
  • Veggie burgers, salad, and wine.
  • Don't know. I don't recognize it as food.
  • 9. If you own a minivan, does he:
  • Drive it proudly every day, using it as an excuse to brag about his family?
  • Grudgingly agree to drive it when asked?
  • Tell young, single women that it belongs to his older, married brother?
  • 10. When your guy uses the toilet, does he:
  • Always lift the seat and always put it back down?
  • Sometimes lift the seat and sometimes put it back down?
  • Never lift the seat, splatter everywhere, and make fire truck noises?